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That’s why Temple’s team wanted to go back further and see if corporal punishment in itself was associated with dating violence, and it was—even controlling for “child abuse” in a more traditional sense.(The words I choose to use here are loaded, I know.“Spanking” is minimizing and normalizing of hitting a child.

It’s in the face of personal experiences like these that science has been flailing for generations.Still it’s also clear that a person’s understanding of the role of violence in conflict resolution goes way, way back.“We struggle in this field trying to identify predictors of violence,” said the University of Texas researcher Jeff Temple, who focuses on interpersonal relationships and dating violence among teenagers.“We know that child abuse is related to later dating violence, as is witnessing violence between parents or in the community,” he told me.“If a kid is having a temper tantrum and throwing things, and then next time they have a tantrum but don’t throw anything, say ‘I’m really glad you didn't throw anything.’”The other evidence-based approach he recommends is taking something positive away.For younger children, that can mean taking away a toy temporarily.

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